Tom, better known in Southie as Deacon, died on New Year’s Day surrounded by his loved ones. He was born on October 3, 1941 in South Boston to Margaret and John Stanley. Pre-deceased by his siblings, John, William, Dorothy and Anne, Tom was the last surviving member of the Stanley family.
He is survived by his wife, Mary Page Stanley of Medfield, his daughter Erin and her husband Jeffrey Wilson and their two daughters, Maeve Elizabeth and Jillian Jane of Swampscott and Erin’s mother, Patricia Wrigley of Medfield. His stepson is Chris Baker of NH and his stepdaughter, Kathryn and her husband Taylor Young and their daughter, Ingrid Adeline reside in Worcester. He is also survived by a number of nieces and nephews.
Tom grew up in the Projects of So. Boston surrounded by a motley crew of friends with whom he enjoyed many breakfast and luncheon reunions. He worked for over 15 years at SMA Controls of Medfield and left there to attend UMass. With a major in Psychology, Tom found his true calling working with the brain-injured and developmentally disabled at Perkins School for the Blind and the Shattuck Hospital.
Always a champion of the underdog, Tom was a kind and patient listener. A deeply spiritual individual, he was conversant in the readings of Julian of Norwich, Thomas Keating and Thomas Merton. He loved going to St. Joseph’s Abbey in Spencer for their weekend contemplative retreats.
After defeating stage 4 throat and neck cancer, Tom lived with the aftereffects of the aggressive treatments that had saved his life. He wasn’t a complainer, always had a kind word for others and did not allow judgmental attitudes to take the place of his thoughtfulness.
His placement at Newbridge on the Charles for Long Term Care, afforded him the social and interactive peer group that he truly enjoyed.
His daughter, Erin, was his sunshine who faithfully visited him on weekends with Jeff and his grandchildren, Maeve and Jillian. He could not wait to meet baby Ingrid and spent a good portion of Thanksgiving holding her in his arms.
How can we say goodbye to such a kind and warm hearted man? His health abandoned him and in the end, we had to let him go.
A Mass of Christian Burial will be held at St. Edward’s Church in Medfield at 10am on Friday, January 18th.
LET ME GO by Georgina Christina Rossetti (1892)
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not for long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that once we shared
Miss me, but let me go.